Swap Horror Movies for Haunted Audiobooks This Halloween
- Turasona
- 14 minutes ago
- 3 min read
The Grown-Up Halloween Ritual: Wine, Candles & a Little Magic in Your Ears
Remember when Halloween meant sugar highs and pillowcases full of candy?
Back then, “spooky season” was about pumpkin guts under your fingernails and arguing with your best friend over who got to be Hermione.
Fast-forward a couple decades and let’s be honest — our idea of a perfect Halloween night now looks a little different. Less trick-or-treat, more wine-and-repeat.
But here’s the good news: the magic doesn’t go away. It just… evolves.
Welcome to the Grown-Up Halloween Ritual
No fake blood, no glittery wings, no bar crawl regrets. Just you, a blanket, a candle (bonus points if it’s your own NEOM dupe), and a little bit of witchy storytelling in your ears.
Instead of doomscrolling or rewatching Hocus Pocus for the fifteenth time, try something new: let your imagination do the dressing up.
Audiobooks are basically adult bedtime stories — except this time, it’s Alan Rickman’s voice and not your mom reading Goodnight Moon.
🎧 Your Spooky Season Starter Pack
Let’s set the vibe. Here’s how to turn your home into a low-effort, high-vibe Halloween haven:
🕯️ Light a candle — Try a cozy dupe for those pricey NEOM ones (seriously, I made one that smells just as bougie for a fraction of the cost).
🍷 Pour something warm & red (oh, and spiked) — A mulled wine... perhaps a cider? Look, any cocktail that gets your cozy on.
🎧 Press play on some magic — Because this Halloween, Audible’s giving us the grown-up version of trick-or-treating. I mean, still unwrap a peanut butter cup or two as well. I'm not a monster.
👂 Audible Is the Halloween Treat You Didn’t Know You Needed
Audible is rolling out the ultimate fall gift — Harry Potter: The Full Cast Audio Recordings, releasing November 4. Yep, the entire wizarding world, fully reimagined with a cast of voices to bring it to life.
And here’s where it gets even sweeter (and I don’t mean fun-size Snickers):They’re offering three months for $0.99 each right now.
That’s less than a latte for hours of enchantment, ghost stories, and murder mysteries whispered right into your ears.
(Turasona earns from qualifying purchases — because even witches have to pay for their wine habit.)
🪄 Not Into Harry Potter? Here Are a Few Perfectly Witchy Listens
If you’d rather channel Morticia than McGonagall, try these:
Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman — for cozy witch energy.
The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson — for goosebumps.
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier — for gothic vibes and slow-burn suspense.
The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern — because fantasy and fall belong together.
All available on Audible, all best paired with candlelight and a glass of something red.
💀 The Takeaway: You Don’t Outgrow the Magic
You might be too old for costumes and candy corn hangovers, but you’re never too old for a little mystery.
So this Halloween, skip the fake blood and drama. Light your favorite candle, pour a drink, and let the storytellers do their thing.
Because honestly? The best kind of witchcraft is when someone else narrates it while you’re in sweatpants.
🕯️🎧✨
